Grief and Guilt

Freedom Beyond Guilt

Most of us who have lost a loved one struggle with guilt. It is often one of the first emotions that comes up. Could we have done something to prevent this? Could we have done something for things to have a different outcome? Why weren’t we there when our loved one needed us? Is this somehow our fault? The latter question becomes especially relevant for those who have lost the person to suicide.

Guilt is a bag of rocks that we carry on our back, making it very difficult to move forward. Often, we believe we are guilty when we are not (due to societal conditioning, self‑doubt, or lack of self‑love). Nobody benefits from our guilt — not us, not the person who left, not anyone in our human connections. To begin freeing ourselves from guilt, we can look deeply within our hearts and ask whether we honestly believe that we did something wrong or bad. If the deepest answer is “no,” there is space to release the false belief we are carrying.

If the deepest answer is “yes,” we can turn to forgiveness. From the heart, we can ask the person we think we hurt or wronged to forgive us. If we have a connection with a higher power, we may ask that power to forgive us. Spirit is forgiving by its nature. The soul that is gone has probably forgiven us already. Then, we begin to forgive ourselves. Forgiving ourselves can be difficult, especially if it is not a practice we follow. We return to it again and again until we know in our hearts that we have become free.

There is an inherent goodness in each human being, and most likely whatever we think we did, we did not do out of maliciousness or ill intent. Making “mistakes,” “poor choices,” and such is part of our human journey here and is OK. There is no human walking this Earth who got it all right. We would not be here if we had nothing to learn.

In the great scheme of things, none of us is responsible for another person’s life, nor do we have control of the ultimate outcome. We do contribute to things, and all we can do is the best we can at that given time. If for some reason we did not do our best, we learn, let go, and continue on our journey of life. That is what the lessons and situations are there for, not to blame or judge ourselves.

May we all find freedom from guilt and walk lighter on our path.♥️